Give up your seat or you might not get dinner

If your life’s calling keeps you stationed in a kitchen then chances are that you work long hours starting or ending in the wee early hours of the morning. The only time that you’ll sit down is when you get home and launch yourself onto the nearest chair/sofa/bed and demand a foot rub from the nearest breathing being. Burns and finger nicks may be the most distinguishable hazards of the trade but they’re most likely on the lower end of your long-winded list of daily maladies. Rather, it’s your swollen feet, aching back, calf pains and your ever-expanding collection of spider veins that your spouses/flatmates are most accustomed to hearing about. Sure, there are shoes and rubber mats that can to help ease some of your afflictions but these seem to lose their effect after eight hours of standing- and eight hours constitutes a half day for most kitchen queens. There is a reason why all cooks have vodka in the freezer.

And thus is why I’m appealing to all non-standing professionals, who spend most of their sedentary days sat crunched over a computer screen to have a look around on your commute home for bleary-eyed cooks hankering for a pew.  Flour prints on a backside, a lingering aroma of garlic and onions,  particles of food in the hair, particles of food on their face, a burn mark on the wrist or plasters on a finger are all visual signs that the person eying-up the same seat as you- deserves it more than you. In fact I would go so far as to suggest that as well as the standard handicapped and elderly seats- their ought to be designated chefs seats on the subway with a placard reading “give up this seat or you might not get dinner”. Just something to consider.

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5 Responses to “Give up your seat or you might not get dinner”


  1. 1 Karen April 13, 2008 at 8:26 pm

    I’m one of those non-standing professionals sitting behind a computer screen all day crunching numbers. I have the aching neck and back for long periods of sitting. I don’t have the spider veins, but an ever expanding backside. I’d gladly give you my seat for dinner.

  2. 2 Anna Helm April 14, 2008 at 2:29 pm

    haha! thanks Karen- don’t you wish you didn’t have to work?!

  3. 3 naomi April 15, 2008 at 3:02 pm

    I hate to sound smug, but I work from home and commute on my bike providing it’s not too far, then I get the bus for something over 6 or 7 miles.

    If I ever see anyone with a blue plaster or a wild eyed look of exhaustion and vodka craving; I will leap up and give them my seat in an instant. And I will also send them some adrenal mending healing thoughts too (no, don’t vomit – I really will).

    x x x

  4. 4 the likkle girl who wurves pwetty things April 15, 2008 at 9:37 pm

    Hello Anna, discovered your blog via http://libertylondongirl.blogspot.com/.

    Those yucky spider veins are the bane of my life too – other girls book themselves in for peels and Botox but all I can think of is getting compression sclerotherapy done to them blue lines.
    Sometimes, after a long day, I jump into a cab just to get home that little bit faster to that bottle of vodka, only to have the driver, on quite a few occasions, tell me, ‘Miss, can you please wind your window down a little? It smells like a kitchen in here.’
    Some of things that we have to put up with because we love doing what we do.

  5. 5 Anna Helm April 21, 2008 at 8:37 pm

    oh how i miss cycling to work- sadly in manhattan i wouldn’t dare!


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